Friday, March 26, 2010

Gabor

Gabor, demigod of children-eating, is from the underworld. Satan's second cousin (three times removed) Clark McStauss, summoned Gabor from the crevices of hell and sent him to cast his om-nom-nommy wrath upon children in the Vista Ridge mall in Lewisville, Texas. He cannot be seen from ground level, leaving many children to be caught off guard. Only the "higher" power can see Gabor; Jesus, God, and people standing on the second-floor balcony.

It is said that some mothers know of Gabor's existence, so they take their children there when they have been bad to be eaten. Gabor always releases them once they have learned their lesson, and they will appear in odd places, like the 3T size baby clothes rack in Wal Mart, or in motel washers. However, they never come out the same. Limbs go missing, their eyes are crossed...it's quite terrible. No one knows what Gabor makes them do inside his gullet...but it must be awful. Who wants to be eaten? Especially little hyperactive mall toddlers.

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